Imposter syndrome is an area that pops up time and time again during coaching and therapy sessions with D.U. Sivri. The Qualified Psychotherapist, Business Coach and Author explains exactly what imposter syndrome is and offers advice and tips on how to tackle it.
As a Qualified Psychotherapist with over 25 years in the field of psychology, one area that has popped up again and again over the last few years with alarming regularity in coaching and therapy sessions is imposter syndrome.
Although many people may have heard of it and its effect on the individual and the workforce, before we look at tackling this phenomenon, let’s look at describing in detail what exactly it is and how it affects the person afflicted.
Imposter syndrome
Imposter syndrome is the persistent and nagging feeling that a person has, whereby they feel unable to believe that their successes are deserved or that they have been achieved legitimately as a result of their own efforts, hard work or skillsets.
For the individual, there will be feelings of anxiousness as they struggle to accept the feelings of success internally. Even if they are high performing individuals, they will struggle to deal with the feelings associated with being successful. These feelings then manifest themselves in the individual feeling like a fraud or like a phony as they doubt their abilities and achievements. Here is an example of the self-talk a person with imposter syndrome may have: “I know I am not good enough, and any day now, my bosses will realise they have made a mistake in employing me. I’m sure they are already evaluating my performance levels and will probably talk to me about my abilities soon.”
Does this type of self-talk describe what you feel about yourself in the office or workplace?
Unlike being humble though, these types of feelings can be extremely damaging because the feelings of anxiety can be extremely overwhelming and can severely affect a person’s career. Feelings of inadequacy mean that the person suffers with their levels of confidence and competence.
One reason people feel like this is because most high achievers get to a point where they feel that they can’t carry on. This might make them feel guilty or shameful in some way because they can’t perform/carry on as they used to. As a result, they tend to suffer in silence with this affliction.
There are a number of reasons people may feel this way:
Family – Growing up, the family environment may have been overly critical or may have placed a high emphasis on achievement.
Social pressures – The pressure of other people expecting high achievements in order to gain approval can be very angst inducing.
Sense of belonging – Feelings that you may be excluded once you are ‘found out’ and then cast out from the group can make a person feel different in some way.
Personality types – Some personalities may be predisposed to feeling this way. For example, if you are Introverted, or you tend to internalise things, then any perceived doubts, failures or pressures, will only bring out more negative feelings and questions regarding confidence and performance levels.
Here are some characteristics of imposter syndrome:
- Self-doubt
- Undervaluing your contributions
- Attributing successes to other/external factors
- Self-sabotaging any achievements and successes
- Setting unrealistic expectations
- Continual fear of not living up to expectations
- Feelings of emptiness and inadequacy
- Burnout
How to tackle imposter syndrome
You firstly need to understand that imposter syndrome is a form of ‘saboteur thinking’. It is self-destructive, but you are not helpless against it. Don’t try to ignore those feelings or push them away, so instead, control those emotions by acknowledging that they exist in you. Also be aware of the effect that these types of emotions have on your mind and body. One good technique to practise is the SBNRR Technique. This stands for Stop, Breathe, Notice, Reassess and Respond. This technique helps you to slow down and be more mindful as you consider your situation, your own thoughts, your feelings and your reactions. Here you get to stop, breathe calmly, notice your thoughts, reassess and evaluate your feelings and situation, and respond with intentional reactions.
Ten ways to tackle imposter syndrome
- Understand the self-talk – Understanding and then assessing your negative self-talk is a positive start towards changing your perceptions.
- Assess the evidence – You can collect, acknowledge and reflect on evidence (proof) by creating two lists. One can focus on your competences and the other on your inadequacies. This will help bring you some perspective to your situation.
- Refocus on values – Remind yourself continually of what really matters to you, instead of focusing on achievement and success.
- Reframe around growth – Growing psychologically will help you stretch your beliefs as you question everything externally.
- Disengage from your thoughts – Circling thoughts and rumination need to be broken. Talking to someone or keeping a journal will help you minimise the power of the negative thoughts swimming around in your mind.
- Be self compassionate – Show yourself more compassion and stop being critical of yourself and others. Look to understand yourself and stop being so hard on yourself.
- Be kind to yourself – We all make mistakes. Think about that on a deep level and learn to tame your ‘inner demons’ who are your biggest critics and worst enemies. Kindness and compassion to yourself is vital.
- Keep things in perspective – Not all ‘failures’ are failures or even very important. If you feel that you have genuinely failed at something, then take a step back, analyse it and look to learn from it.
- Practice being more mindful – Use the SBNRR Technique to live in the present and learn to relax as you evaluate what is really going on and why.
- Get trusted feedback from people – Your trusted network is vital for positive affirmations and validation. Or you can seek counsel from a trusted professional who works in this field if need be.
You can always alleviate the debilitating symptoms of imposter syndrome by working with a professional, so don’t suffer in silence.
Good luck!